Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nicole vs. Life
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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