oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
