Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
