Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
