Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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