you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
