I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
