on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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