you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
