I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
