I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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