How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
