can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
