Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
