i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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