I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize