This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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