well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize