Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
