We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
