Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
