"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
