Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
