What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
