Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
