So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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