non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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