She's JV to your varsity
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
