hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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