Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
