I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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