...so i touched it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
