found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
