I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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