Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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