A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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