soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
