I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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