before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i think i just lost a toe
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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