I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just tell him i said nine months
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
