Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
