I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
