Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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