Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is Oprah even human
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
