I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
