Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize