Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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