Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
