I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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