I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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