I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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