I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
