There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
