I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
