Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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