You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
