Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
