I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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